Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Adolf Hitler

Thought douchebags had to be still alive? Think again...

In this Internet User's opinion, today's douchebag definitely scrapes into the top 10 goofballs of all time. Firstly let me give some appreciation at Hitler's ability to rally the masses, his public speaking skills and his use of the media to get an entire nation to become blind to what was really going on.

Now to the good part. It was Hitler's belief that anyone without full Aryan blood should basically be removed from society and or killed. That means anyone who is a non-Jewish Caucasian especially those of Nordic or Germanic descent is ok in Adolf's eyes. Hitler used this wide-spread hatred to kick start the second world war, which he thought would bring revenue back to the German economy.

This went alright for a while, Poland got captured and German forces went around basically fucking everyone up. This lasted basically unit Hitler, being the douche he is, invaded Russia. This might have worked out if old man Adolf forgot that it was winter over there and that Russia's population was over 100 million, what a dumass. So the Russians saved the day, Japan got Nuked and America made billions from movie sales from a whole bunch of films. I'm not saying these movies aren't fantastic and that the soldiers don't deserve recognition at all! I love Band of Brothers. Rather, I think Russia had an enormous part in the war and would like to see more movies about the Eastern front!

So there it is. Let me know if you like this douchebag's of the past segment.

Bill O'Reilly

I don't know if you've ever watched old billy boy when hes talking a whole bunch of shit, he reminds me of my old man when were having an argument (he raises his voice so loud that all you can hear is him so that his opinion stands). I would rather watch Richard Branson giving a reach-a-round to Barbra Streisand (who wouldn't :s ) then have to put up with Bill's talkshow 'The O'Reilly Factor' which airs on Fox News.

So as I mentioned, the douchebag likes to raise his voice. I dug up a prime example of this off youtube:

As you can see, the man is clearly not capable of an intelligent conversation (my favourite part starts at 1:30).

Bill is also a 'devoted' christian and of his memorable quotes include:

"I just wish Katrina had only hit the United Nations building, nothing else, just had flooded them out, and I wouldn't have rescued them."

 My advice readers of the internet: only turn on fox if Futurama or The Simpsons is on!

Monday, October 4, 2010

Gordon Ramsay

Here is a man i have about as much respect for as the Gestapo Officer's of WWII. If you didn't know, recently one of the chefs from his show 'Hell's Kitchen' commited suicide by jumping off the George Washington Bridge in New York City. Ramsay abused the crap out of this guy who, from what I understand ran a pretty decent restaurant.

The contestant on the show stated during the program "I'm financially in trouble — the debt of the restaurant alone is overwhelming. My personal debt — wife, kids mortgage — that's a lot of debt ... I owe my purveyors about $80,000 right now in cold, hard cash . . . I can't see us going on another year." Ramsay goes on to embarrass this man publicly infront of his family and the entire world for example "Why did you become a chef-owner if you haven't a clue how to run a business?"- Gordon Ramsay.

I did like how he took a dig at Tracey Grimshaw (the Australian TV presenter) as I think she is a bit of a douchebag too. Although that is by far the nicest thing I have to say about this absolute tool. So what if your dad was an alcoholic? Most people have had worse upbringings than that and have turned out to be decent people! In conclusion, if Gordon ever berated me by a fraction others have seen about my cheese on toast, I would kick him square in the balls whilst wearing my AFL boots.

My Condolences go out to the Cerniglia family.


Mr Raymond IV, don't taker this personally but lately you've been a bit of a douchebag.

Just because you can say 'Oh' 17 times then follow with "My god" doesn't mean you can have someone add some bass and drums and put it on the radio. This new song is an absolute joke, for example "Honey got a booty like pow, pow, pow. Honey got some boobies like wow, oh wow". Why can't any of these modern pop stars string a couple of decent lines together? :|

If it wasn't for your recent charitable donations you would be getting a much lengthier post. Anyone who wears sunglasses at night to try and improve their appearance is a deadset douchebag and sorry mate, your on the list.